Rick
I have been thinking about my cousin Rick a lot this week. I have had a lot of interaction with him in the past few months. It makes me sad to see what has become of a life that once had so much promise. I used to look up to him and now I have far surpassed him in life and the gap continues to widen. I get angry with people in my family who have let him down, myself included. I get angry at him for living off of excuses and not doing anything for himself to try to improve his situation.
I wrote a poem about him when I was in college. I never ever share my poetry with people, mostly because it is not good. HA! However, I have been thinking that maybe putting it out there in the universe would help to release some of the sadness I have been feeling. Also, I suppose it helps that on Tumblr, my universe is only three people! So, I am sorry if this is too personal for Tumblr, but sometimes you have to test you therapeutic theories.
Untitled from November 10, 1999
Came into my darkness
A guide for my youthful eyes,
Nothing it seemed could part us.
Caring was I for my hero:
Energetic was your spirit
Ready to take on the world
Cause unknown it came into our lives
A rift was made, un-mendable.
Never again would your light shine bright,
Committed though I was to help
Even I could not
Repair all that you had lost.
Cruel and uncaring it took you from me
And nothing could be done to stop it.
No care did it have for your life or mine
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Eyes of inexperience could even see it
Regret it had none, once its work was done.
Cunning it was to leave you alive
Allowing life, denying life.
Now you don’t remember who you once were,
Confusing your second chance on life for death.
Electing to see only what is lost
Refusing to see the possibilities of the future
Conscious of your own problems,
Attempting suicide was your solution.
No one is more relieved for your failure in this than I
Cousin by God, brother by life.
Even though you feel that all is lost
Remember that you could never be lost to me.
